Dayton Thomas Cole of Boone, North Carolina, passed away on October 22, 2026, surrounded by the love of his family and many dear friends. Born October 19, 1954, in Port Lavaca, Texas, Dayton will be deeply missed in his professional circles, in his faith and civic communities, and most of all by his grandchildren, children, and the love of his life, wife Cathy. True to the advice that he gave to his children and others, Dayton “finished strong” after living with multiple myeloma for nearly 20 years.

Those who knew Dayton will remember a man whose quiet presence could steady a room, whose understated sense of humor could catch you by surprise, and whose optimism endured even when circumstances were difficult. He never needed to be the loudest voice in the room; when he spoke, people listened. He approached life with a calm steadiness, a genuine curiosity about the world, and an abiding belief in what was still possible.

Dayton graduated from Bay City (TX) High School, Texas State University-San Marcos (formerly Southwest Texas State University), and South Texas College of Law Houston. Dayton often spoke fondly of the people, places, and opportunities in Texas that provided formative experiences for him. Among other things, he was a recognized football standout at Bay City High School, attained Life rank with the Boy Scouts, served as Student Government President at Southwest Texas State University, and earned his Doctor of Jurisprudence degree while working full-time. Dayton was recognized early on for his leadership capabilities, including by then United States Senator from Texas Lloyd Bentson; he also shared with family and friends his outdoor loves of boating and fishing. An explorer at heart, Dayton remained drawn to the outdoors and the beauty of the natural world, finding joy in the places he discovered and the experiences they made possible. Dayton met Catherine E. Matthews while they were studying at Southwest Texas State, and they were married in 1977.

Dayton’s early professional appointments also were in Texas. They included service as administrative aide to Texas House of Representatives member Robert Saunders, Assistant University Attorney and Assistant to the Dean of Students at his alma mater, Texas State University-San Marcos, and University Attorney at East Texas A&M University-Commerce. It was those early appointments, along with his appreciation for the transformative experience of higher education, that fostered Dayton’s deep love of providing legal service to university clients. In all of the positions he held, he always was guided by the academic mission and what would best serve the education of young people.

In 1988, Dayton, Cathy, and their young family moved to Boone, North Carolina, the place that would become Dayton’s beloved home. For 30 years, Dayton served as the first and only chief legal officer at Appalachian State University. As University Attorney and then

General Counsel at App State, he led a broad, general practice that touched on all aspects of university governance. His wise counsel to five Appalachian Chancellors, the Board of Trustees, and other institutional officers and clients earned him the respect of colleagues on campus and in the University of North Carolina System, university attorneys across the country, and of members of the local and state bars. A framed print with the moniker “Honest Lawyer” was displayed prominently in his office, and it aptly captured the integrity with which Dayton conducted all of his legal advising. Dayton was an “attorney and counselor at law” in all the truest and best senses of that title.

His commitment to equity and the belief that everyone deserves a place and a sense of belonging extended beyond his professional responsibilities. Dayton understood that people could disagree, even deeply, without losing their dignity or their right to be treated with respect. He believed in the worth of people, and he modeled that belief in how he approached others. To Dayton, respect was never reserved for those with a particular title, position, or point of view.

In typical Dayton fashion, he often included his family in his professional travels. Cathy and their children shared fond memories of attending annual meetings of the National Association of College and University Attorneys, which regularly included visits to zoos or aquariums with professional colleagues who had become friends of his whole family.

For Dayton, there was never a firm dividing line between his work and his family. His children grew up visiting him on the App State campus, where higher education was woven into the fabric of their childhood. They learned not only about the value of education, but also about the importance of respecting everyone who made a community work, from the professor to the janitor. His family was part of the world he cared so deeply about, and he welcomed them into it. Yet his dedication to his work never kept him from showing up for the people he loved. He rarely missed a ball game, making clear through those ordinary, repeated acts of presence that his children mattered just as much as the work to which he had devoted his career.

Following his retirement from Appalachian in 2018, Dayton completed his professional career by serving Campbell University as Interim General Counsel, Deputy General Counsel, and Senior Associate Counsel. Consistent with his natural inclination to solve problems early on, he also became a certified mediator for North Carolina Superior Court and in the field of family law.

Throughout his career, Dayton provided highly competent yet quiet and discerning service that inevitably led his peers to honor him. His multitude of recognitions included Appalachian State University’s Plemmons Leadership Medallion for “meritorious leadership that has significantly enriched the quality of student life and learning outside of the classroom”; the Distinguished Service Award from and Life Membership in the National Association of College and University Attorneys; and the Distinguished Service Award from the North Carolina Bar Association’s Education Law Section. Dayton took seriously his profession’s ethical obligation to provide pro bono legal services, a commitment he continued to fulfill until shortly before his passing. He also served on the boards of, and held numerous leadership positions with, local non-profit and faith-based organizations including OASIS (Opposing Abuse with Service, Information, and Shelter), Watauga Opportunities, Watauga County Habitat for Humanity, Boone Area Chamber of Commerce, Boy Scouts of America, Hospitality House of Boone, and the First Baptist Churches of Boone, North Carolina and Commerce, Texas. Dayton was a faith-filled member of the Church of the Holy Cross (Episcopal) in Valle Crucis, North Carolina.

In recent months, people who had worked with Dayton professionally had occasions to reflect upon what Dayton had meant to them. Many colleagues remembered that Dayton’s steadying influence during thorny situations saved them from sleepless nights. One summed up an unspoken sentiment of many, noting that even as Dayton faced his own health challenges, it was Dayton who continued to “fill the cup” of his colleagues. To the end, Dayton was concerned that he express his gratitude to all his colleagues, clients, and friends.

That steadying influence was familiar to his family, too. Dayton had a way of making difficult circumstances feel less overwhelming, not by dismissing the difficulty, but by helping others see that there was still a way forward. His optimism was not dependent on life being easy or going according to plan. He continued to believe in the possibility of something better, and he encouraged those he loved to do the same.

All who knew Dayton admired the path he took following his diagnosis in 2008 with multiple myeloma. While many resources indicate an average life expectancy of five years, Dayton lived with the disease for nearly 20 years. He did not battle his cancer; he lived with it. Dayton truly believed that every day he woke up was a good day, and he made it be so. For all of his professional successes and friendships, Dayton’s most cherished roles were husband, dad, and “Pop” to his grandchildren. No day was better than one spent with family on the deck of their home, in his boat on Watauga Lake, or on the golf course. His children remember fondly the gift of knowing, throughout their lives, that their dad lived his life with conviction and clarity of purpose, and with an unwavering commitment to service. Whatever difficult news his kids might have had to share with their dad, they trusted that his response would not be one to fear; instead, their dad would ask, “What’s your plan?”

That question captured so much of Dayton's approach to life. He was not someone who allowed a difficult circumstance to become the end of the story. He looked for a next step, a possibility, a reason to keep going. He offered his children something more enduring than easy reassurance: the confidence that even when life took an unexpected turn, they could face it, make a plan, and move forward. He gave them reason to believe that hope could find its way into even the most difficult circumstances.

Dayton was a life-long learner, ever-curious to understand something new and see a different point of view. He recognized others’ expertise in their craft, and listened carefully.

He prioritized experiences and opportunities to spend time with family over all else. Dayton’s dedication to this way of life led him to taking a cross-country road-trip with all five kids, to opening an ice cream shop with Cathy, to owning boats, and to quickly making friends. Dayton was never intimidated by the prospect of untangling fishing line, calming a crying baby, or holding someone who needed a steady hand. He instilled a sense that there is always room for ‘one more good one’ - whether referencing colleagues in law, or friends around his dining room table.

He had a gift for making room, for another person, another perspective, another adventure, or one more place at the table. His curiosity kept him open to the world and to the people in it. Whether exploring somewhere new, enjoying the quiet beauty of the outdoors, or gathering family and friends around the table, Dayton understood that much of life's richness came from being present for the experiences and people right in front of him. His legacy lives not only in the institutions he served and the work he accomplished, but in the way he taught others to move through the world: with integrity, humility, curiosity, and room for one more.

Cancer ultimately diminished Dayton’s physical stature, but it never diminished his spirit or the wise, generous, and patient person that he was. Dayton is survived by his beloved wife of 49 years, Cathy (Matthews) Cole; children Erin Cole, Adam (Elizabeth Whiteman), Justin (Lorie), Sara Cole , and Amy (Kevin) Holway; by grandchildren Kiah (Nathan) Alley, Dominic Holway, Cole Holway, Dayton Brownfield, Charley Glenn, Alex Brownfield, Dakota Glenn, Elliott Holway, Conor Cole, and Tyler Cole; and by sisters Amy (Cole) Cline and Stephanie (Campbell) Cassey. Dayton was predeceased by his parents, Tommy Cole and Carolyn (Hicks) Cole Campbell.

Throughout Dayton’s Cancer treatment, Dayton and Cathy noted incredible gratitude for the human-centered and thoughtful care they received from medical staff, notably at UNC Cancer Hospital, Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center, Fresenius Kidney Care of Watauga County and many doctor offices and clinics along the way.

Decisions about a celebration of Dayton’s life will be made at a later date.

Memorial donations in Dayton’s honor may be made to The Church of the Holy Cross, P.O. Box 645, Valle Crucis, NC 28691; to Appalachian State University Foundation, Inc., designated for the Dayton T. Cole ACCESS Scholarship Fund, Appalachian State University Advancement Services, P.O. Box 32014, Boone, NC 28608; or to a charity of one’s choice.

Online condolences may be sent to the Robbins family at www.hamptonfuneralnc.com

Hampton Funeral and Cremation Service is in charge of the arrangements.